Unexpected change can be difficult to deal with. It often generates lots of uneasy emotions such as anger, fear, anxiety and stress. Having recently had my own life flipped upside down, I understand these emotions all too well.

Thankfully I am now on the other side of transition, and I’ve learned some things I thought could be helpful to share with you. Many clients I work with are experiencing organizational change right now so the topic feels highly relevant. I hope there’s some insight here you can use or reflect upon, to help either yourself or your team.

To briefly recap my own journey, I left New Zealand at short notice in late 2021 to be with my father who was seriously ill. It coincided with the sad realisation that my partner and I weren’t likely to ever be able to afford to buy our own home in Auckland despite many years of trying. I got on a plane to the US amid a global pandemic, not knowing if I’d ever return to New Zealand, where I was going to live next, when I would see my partner again, or what my future held.

Six months later, the dust is finally starting to settle. My father is doing okay and I am now a proud homeowner living in a pretty countryside village on the east coast of Ireland. It was an amazing and surreal feeling to be reunited with my partner, and I’m settling into my new surroundings while continuing to work across time zones to serve my clients in New Zealand.

I’m now able to reflect on my unexpected change experience and all of the emotions I have experienced lately and have come to realize how important it is to give yourself space and permission to process them. Here are my five tips to surviving change. 

1. Give it time

One common complaint I hear from leaders who are accountable for the strategic management of corporate change in their organization is how much they wish staff would just ‘get on board’. If you have autonomy to create change, it’s important to remember that gives you a big head start. Other people need time and space to get their heads around it.

The SCARF model tells us that if you create a change, it feels starkly different than if a change is forced upon you. Whenever there are triggers to our status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness and fairness (as per the SCARF model), it’s natural to feel threatened. Change should ideally be done in partnership with people, so they have a chance to be involved from the beginning. Unfortunately, change is often decided upon at the top and then rolled down through an organization. If that’s the case, consider providing plenty of space in your timeline for people to digest the situation. 

2. Have compassion for emotions (yours and others’)

It’s important to understand that uneasy emotions are a normal part of the change process.

Rather than resenting or suppressing the difficult emotions we might feel, can you seek the wisdom of what your emotions are telling you? Maybe you feel disempowered for not having been involved sooner, or perhaps you’re sad your relationships with colleagues will change as you move into a new role? Every emotion offers us information if we pay attention to it. This can be a useful step for processing and coping with change.

3. Counter your negativity bias

Another factor to bear in mind is our natural negativity bias. Essentially, our human brains are hard wired to more easily imagine and worry about potential bad outcomes than they are to focus on positive possibilities. Will this change negatively impact my relationships? My status in the organization? My livelihood? These are all very common reactions when a change is suddenly presented at work.

While dealing with my own upheaval, I had to push myself to realize that if I can imagine this change being really bad, I have to also leave space for the possibility this change could be truly wonderful.

In my ideal world, I wouldn’t have chosen to leave New Zealand. I had a very different future in mind than the path that has unfolded. But what if the universe is nudging me in this direction for a reason? Accepting that idea has been really helpful. It’s opened me up to feeling much more positive and better able to embrace change in general. 

If you notice yourself getting caught up in a spiral of fear or negativity, what’s a potentially positive outcome that you perhaps haven’t yet allowed yourself to consider? Can you access a sense of trust within yourself amidst the uncertainty unfolding around you and open yourself up to those possibilities? What if life is happening for you and not to you?

4. Manage the polarity of Stability & Agility

I’d also like to touch on the importance of stability. Organizations and individuals often place a high value on being agile. But in line with the concept of polarity management, you need some form of certainty and stability in order to be purposefully agile. A polarity is an interdependent pair of opposites that are both desirable and required over time for a sustainable self and system. They are ongoing, unavoidable and inherently unsolvable. In this instance, if you don’t have a solid foundation to push off or pivot from, people often find it harder to be deliberate in their shifts. 

So what can you trust will remain the same? What can you rely on to be comfortably consistent? For me, maintaining normal and nourishing routines such as running several times a week, spending time in nature and with animals, and staying connected and communicating regularly with key people in my life, have all been vital to getting me through the last six months. 

5. Consider the timing of change

Gartner research shows today’s average employee can absorb half as much change before becoming fatigued as they could manage in 2019 thanks to the upheaval caused by COVID-19.

If you can possibly avoid a big organizational change right now, it’s worth looking at other options because that fatigue is very real. Many people are struggling with their well-being and don’t have the capacity to deal with change very well right now. The resulting fallback in their vertical development can result in more reactivity and defensiveness rather than the resilience, positivity, and adaptability they would be capable of under better circumstances. If you decide to push ahead with a restructure, merger, or other significant change, consider shining a spotlight on what will remain the same so people have something stable to hold onto.

Uncertainty can be overwhelming for many people. But there are ways to ease that mental load and come to terms with the changes we are facing. 

If this topic has resonated with you and you’re curious to learn more, feel free to get in touch for a chat.